Evil Author Things

You know, as an author I get to do an awful lot of evil things and not get in trouble for them. Now I am not talking things like mass murder – although I wouldn’t put that past me in a future book. I am talking about those little evil things we all do – or want to do – in life but just can’t.

I was talking to my critique partner the other day, and she was writing a story in first person. The heroine was purposely making the hero mad. Doing little things like burning his marshmallows (yes, I am talking about s’mores here, get your mind out of the gutter.) then smooshing them so they ooze out of the crackers. (her words). This proceeded to piss the poor man off. And still the heroine continued to annoy the hell out of him. (He’d refused her sex, can you think of a better reason to punish him?)

Well, Michelle said that she loved it. That she was having loads of fun pissing off this man. And it struck me that some authors are born kind of evil. We get way too big of a kick out of stuff like that. Take for example, I was in the middle of a sex scene at the same time, and I realized I had my hero torturing the heroine. Not letting her do things cause he was too busy pleasuring her to let her pleasure him. (Yeah, I know, such a horrible torture, isn’t it?)

And then there are the times where nothing goes right for the heroine. Where she can’t change a tire because the lug nuts are too tight, when she drops things because she is nervous cause the hero is talking to her. When her mother starts yelling at her for her horrible taste in men right after her heart gets broken by the ex-boyfriend.

You know, I, too, truly enjoy too many of these scenes. So now that I think about it, I’m worried. What does that say about me as a person? Hehehe