Romances are the Bane of Our Existence

I had an interesting blog conversation with someone today. He was saying he thinks that Romances are the bane of human existence. He blames them for unrealistic expectations that women have in regards to relationships and love.

And I agree with that TO A POINT

He said that romance fans were unable to distinguish reality versus fiction.

Now I take affront at that. He seems to think that romance readers are the only ones that are like that, and ALL romance readers are like this.

Even when I pointed out that other genres also create people unable to separate reality from fiction, he continued to point out "there is a princess deep down in every woman waiting to be rescued."

You know, I got pissed. Really really pissed. I am not waiting to be rescued, and I haven't wanted to be rescued since I was 17. I learned that the only one that can rescue you is you. That the only one that can save you, make you who you want to be, make you happy is YOU. With or without a man.

And I try to write my heroines like that, too. A friend assured me when I asked that no, none of my heroines needed to be rescued. They are all successful, self-confident women. Even those that want a man, don't want them to rescue them, they want someone to hold and that will hold them. They want a partnership, not someone that will make them more or better just because they have a man.

I use the term completion sometimes when I explain the connection between a hero and a heroine, and perhaps that isn't the best term to be used, but I feel complete with my husband. I feel that he helps me, rounds out the parts of me that need it. but I do that same for him. There was no rescuing, unless we did it for each other. Okay, yeah, I just said he rounds me out, I guess you can say makes me more. But the thing is, I am still a wonderful, powerful, dynamic woman on my own. I don't NEED him to make things better. Yes, he CAN make things better, but if he weren't there, I would still survive. And I would still be a complete person.

The love or attention of a man will not make you more who you are, you need to establish that by yourself first.
The love a a partner (man or woman) will make you more, yes. In the sense that the two of you together will make something else, but you are still individuals on your own.